Simulating adult life (because let's be real--actually adult-ing isn't for me) is hard. There are so many things to keep track of. Like, loans? How do I apply for a repayment plan? There are so many steps, and miles of bureaucratic bullshit. Also, I tried to get a dermatologist appointment this summer before my college insurance ran out. Turns out you need a referral to go see the person you know can help you. Like, what the fuck? If I know there's something wrong with my toenail, why can't I just go talk to the doctor that specializes in nails/hair/skin? I guess I'm just saying the Adult World is not intuitive. And there's no road map. People just expect you to know this shit. A liberal arts education is great in that afterwards you can have conversations with yourself about the mobility of women in 18th century literature, but it sucks in that you have no idea how to live. College is a beautiful bubble of insulation--everything is preprogramed to get you, the student, what you want--or, at least, need. And there's a seminar for how-to-college. I bet we college grads all feel like shit for crapping on College 101, the course we had to take as freshman that taught how college works. There should be Living 101 material available everywhere. Like on free pamphlets you can pick up at the grocery store.
Granted, I'm mostly whining about this because I know I can. This is my platform, and I can do what I want on it. I know that there are resources out there. For example, the Internet. There are info-graphics and shit. Also, there are YouTube channels dedicated on How To Adult (in fact, that's the name of one such YouTube channel). If I want answers, I can go find them. However, I'm not done complaining: Why doesn't the world make more sense? I feel like things could be run much more efficiently.
And maybe that makes me seem like I feel entitled. Maybe I do feel entitled. Because I think that if I need to apply for a repayment plan, it should be obvious how to do that. And if I need my toe looked at, it should be apparent how I can get that help.
And yet also, I get it. This is a learning process. I'm figuring this shit out. Obviously it's going to take some time for me to acclimate to this newer world where repayment plans and doctors take lots of online research and phone calls. It's a new chessboard--a new system--I need to learn how to maneuver. And I feel like the odd one out, because I've been playing a different system my whole life. I've been inside the young adult education bubble for, like, ever. And I was pretty spanking good at getting things done while I was in it. So now that I'm out of it, I feel exposed. Vulnerable. And I know feeling this way is "normal." Or whatever. It just sucks. It's going to take time to get used to. But, truth be told, I'd rather be dynamic--change over time--than static. It makes things more interesting. I just need to accept the changes, and change my attitude. I need to think of this as a positive experience. And I will. But for now it's okay to bitch for a little bit.
Granted, I'm mostly whining about this because I know I can. This is my platform, and I can do what I want on it. I know that there are resources out there. For example, the Internet. There are info-graphics and shit. Also, there are YouTube channels dedicated on How To Adult (in fact, that's the name of one such YouTube channel). If I want answers, I can go find them. However, I'm not done complaining: Why doesn't the world make more sense? I feel like things could be run much more efficiently.
And maybe that makes me seem like I feel entitled. Maybe I do feel entitled. Because I think that if I need to apply for a repayment plan, it should be obvious how to do that. And if I need my toe looked at, it should be apparent how I can get that help.
And yet also, I get it. This is a learning process. I'm figuring this shit out. Obviously it's going to take some time for me to acclimate to this newer world where repayment plans and doctors take lots of online research and phone calls. It's a new chessboard--a new system--I need to learn how to maneuver. And I feel like the odd one out, because I've been playing a different system my whole life. I've been inside the young adult education bubble for, like, ever. And I was pretty spanking good at getting things done while I was in it. So now that I'm out of it, I feel exposed. Vulnerable. And I know feeling this way is "normal." Or whatever. It just sucks. It's going to take time to get used to. But, truth be told, I'd rather be dynamic--change over time--than static. It makes things more interesting. I just need to accept the changes, and change my attitude. I need to think of this as a positive experience. And I will. But for now it's okay to bitch for a little bit.
