LIFE UPDATE: I've been living in Nice, France for two weeks. It's great, and very surreal. Am I in a dream? I can't believe that there's a life outside of school, and that that life includes living in Nice. How did I get here? I have no idea.
What have I done since my arrival? Well...
I've seen some bizarre public sculpture.
I've gone on a long-ass walk along the Promenade des anglais.
I've been to a couple of beaches.
I've gotten lost in Old Nice.
I've had a milkshake that did not settle well in my stomach. (When a milkshake is 2 euro, don't drink it.)
I've been to a French toy shop.
I've gone out with new friends. :)
I've hiked a French Alp and lived to tell the tale.
...And spotted some wildlife on the way.
And I've hosted a cultural meal (part Brazilian, part French) at my new flat.
My overall analysis of Nice? It is nice, yes, but it is more than that. It's my new life.
À bientôt!
I've been wanting to write down how I feel about Beyoncé's "Flawless" video for a while now. If you haven't seen it yet, watch it here:
It's important you watch the video before you read the rest of this post.
"Flawless" is the song Beyoncé was singing during her VMA set when the word FEMINIST lit up behind her. This song also features the talented writer, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, who delivers a very cool speech smack dab in the middle of the song:
'We teach girls to shrink themselves/
To make themselves smaller/We say to girls,"You can have ambition/But not too much/You should aim to be successful/But not too successful/Otherwise you will threaten the man."/Because I am female/I am expected to aspire to marriage/I am expected to make my life choices/Always keeping in mind that/Marriage is the most important/Now marriage can be a source of/Joy and love and mutual support/But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage/And we don't teach boys the same?/We raise girls to see each other as competitors/Not for jobs or for accomplishments/Which I think can be a good thing/But for the attention of men/We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings/In the way that boys are/Feminist: the person who believes in the social/Political, and economic equality of the sexes.' (From A-Z lyrics)
This is freaking awesome, right?
If we listen to other parts of the song, we hear Beyoncé say, "I took some time to live my life,/ but don't think I'm just his little wife," and "I woke up like this."
The song's message is basically this: We shouldn't have to change or shrink ourselves to feel proud of who we are.
This is a pretty solid message.
The vibe and tone of the song is very vitalizing. Fist pumps all around. Hell YEAH I woke up like this! When I first listened to the song, I was very moved, and I was basically ready to don my cape and go out and change the world.
But then I watched the music video several times.
I have qualms.
The song is talking about the empowerment of women. The message states (clearly, in my opinion) that women should be free in their self-expression. In no way should they feel obliged to please another person (presumably a man), especially through their appearance. Be happy with who you are when you wake up in the morning.
But there's a double standard that's hard to swallow. There's a camera shot in the video that is basically just a shot of Beyoncé's butt, and while Beyoncé is free to show off her butt (it's a nice butt), I can't help but think the shot sexualizes the singer and simplifies her down to the curve of her ass. Also, Beyoncé clearly did not "wake up like this." She has a makeup and wardrobe team. She looks "flawless" in a Photoshopped kind of way.
Bringing social justice issues to the attention of the masses (let's admit here and now that Beyoncé's audience includes a quantifiable amount of the masses) is awesome! Having "FEMINIST" light up behind Beyoncé at the VMAs is super cool. It's exciting to see more and more people get on board with feminism and begin to understand what it means. But we have to be careful. We don't want to send out mixed messages.
Censorship is the worst. I'm not saying that Beyoncé shouldn't show off her butt. I'm not saying Beyoncé shouldn't wear makeup. She is entitled to her own self-expression, which is what her song promotes. But at what point is Beyoncé no longer expressing herself? Is there a point at which she's perpetuating misogynistic norms--a point at which she's more of a (perceived) commodity than a feminist with something to say?
I don't have the answers to these questions. I just think they're important to bring up and discuss. It's one thing to jam out to Beyoncé's "Flawless," but I don't want to stop there. I want to understand the implications of the song, and its relationship with its presentation in the music video. What do you guys think?
Honestly, let me know what you think. I'm all ears.
Everyone thinks girls are moons,
but they're actually suns--
they reflect light onto the guys.
But we live in a place
where cool is better than
respect, and skin, soft,
is harder to respect
than being a human to another human.
Robin Thicke
is probably just a stupid guy
but my friend says his publicity
equals power, and therefore, he
must take hold of his influence
and stop being such a dunce.
Amen.
I eat my noodles at 4 a.m.
The wine stains my teeth, the
smoke hovers in
my throat, I'm
so happy to be writing this to you. So
happy to say hello and tell you
about the moon, shining
outside my window
like a wee lad.
Simulating adult life (because let's be real--actually adult-ing isn't for me) is hard. There are so many things to keep track of. Like, loans? How do I apply for a repayment plan? There are so many steps, and miles of bureaucratic bullshit. Also, I tried to get a dermatologist appointment this summer before my college insurance ran out. Turns out you need a referral to go see the person you know can help you. Like, what the fuck? If I know there's something wrong with my toenail, why can't I just go talk to the doctor that specializes in nails/hair/skin? I guess I'm just saying the Adult World is not intuitive. And there's no road map. People just expect you to know this shit. A liberal arts education is great in that afterwards you can have conversations with yourself about the mobility of women in 18th century literature, but it sucks in that you have no idea how to live. College is a beautiful bubble of insulation--everything is preprogramed to get you, the student, what you want--or, at least, need. And there's a seminar for how-to-college. I bet we college grads all feel like shit for crapping on College 101, the course we had to take as freshman that taught how college works. There should be Living 101 material available everywhere. Like on free pamphlets you can pick up at the grocery store.
Granted, I'm mostly whining about this because I know I can. This is my platform, and I can do what I want on it. I know that there are resources out there. For example, the Internet. There are info-graphics and shit. Also, there are YouTube channels dedicated on How To Adult (in fact, that's the name of one such YouTube channel). If I want answers, I can go find them. However, I'm not done complaining: Why doesn't the world make more sense? I feel like things could be run much more efficiently.
And maybe that makes me seem like I feel entitled. Maybe I do feel entitled. Because I think that if I need to apply for a repayment plan, it should be obvious how to do that. And if I need my toe looked at, it should be apparent how I can get that help.
And yet also, I get it. This is a learning process. I'm figuring this shit out. Obviously it's going to take some time for me to acclimate to this newer world where repayment plans and doctors take lots of online research and phone calls. It's a new chessboard--a new system--I need to learn how to maneuver. And I feel like the odd one out, because I've been playing a different system my whole life. I've been inside the young adult education bubble for, like, ever. And I was pretty spanking good at getting things done while I was in it. So now that I'm out of it, I feel exposed. Vulnerable. And I know feeling this way is "normal." Or whatever. It just sucks. It's going to take time to get used to. But, truth be told, I'd rather be dynamic--change over time--than static. It makes things more interesting. I just need to accept the changes, and change my attitude. I need to think of this as a positive experience. And I will. But for now it's okay to bitch for a little bit.
Did you know that I'm a part-time YouTuber? Well, it's true. Here's a video I made:
In Things I Learned This Summer (2014) I talk about six things I've learned this summer. From playing Dungeons and Dragons for the first time, to expanding my understanding of feminism--it's been a great two months.
Then I made this video, which talks about the things I have yet to learn (or do). It expands upon the first video.
Summer at Pine Lake has been lovely, and yet I'm excited about the future, too. Thanks to everyone for making my time here well worth it, and cheers to the friends I have yet to make.
I got a letter in the mail today that basically says the French consulate in New York has been notified that I'm applying to work in France.
Finally.
It's good to know that someone knows what's going on.
Yesterday, this happened:
No, I don't know what it means. But it was silly and enjoyable.
Also, yesterday I watched this video:
It's an interview with Caitlin Moran, the author of How To Be A Woman and just recently How To Build A Girl. In this interview, Moran talks about what feminism is, why it's important, what it's like to be a woman, and how being a woman isn't something to be ashamed of. I really recommend this video to everyone--men and women alike.
I've got 11 days left of Pine Lake. Let's make it count.
Last weekend I got to visit Vermont with my friends, Shannon and Molly. It was really nice to see the place I care so much about, and share it with two, dear college buddies. I recorded some of the stuff we did and put it together in this video.
P.S. I'm getting more and more excited and anxious about my move across the Atlantic, but I'm also going to enjoy these last three weeks at Pine Lake. More updates to come.
